Glory or Death

[Glenwood Cemetery, Houson, TX, bookloversinc.com]

Secret lives, secret hearts, I see
Unfolded and enlightened.
Angel eyes of wisdom and purity have
Brought me grace and weariness together.
Even angst against a holiness.
Dawdling in the temporal seems to
Strip time from a greater good,
From destiny,
From almighty eternity itself,
As if that were possible.
Indeed the lens has flipped, revealing
A mission of mining eternity
From this very mundane.
Oh, for that to be my destiny!
Is anything mundane,
Really?
From One perspective,
It's all either Glory or Death.

Something Stinks

[Photo from Animal Planet]

I was "skunked" in my dream, and maybe in my real life too. 

There was a man named Skunk. Apparently for some reason, that really didn't involve me but had more to do with protecting himself by redirecting suspicion, he had registered my name and entered slanderous rumors about me in a validity database. The original intent of this database was for the proper authorities to privately approve or deny any claims submitted. Unfortunately for many, soon after Skunk's entry, the database project was dropped and all the open cases were declassified, unprotected and available for public viewing. People swarmed the database considering it to be a new authority on dirty laundry. Entries were unable to be deleted, unable to be refuted, unable to be defended. No recourse, no recovery, no reason. I had been "skunked."

Have you ever been "skunked?" I've been feeling skunked lately. Thus the dream, I guess. However, this dream really made me think about how I should be responding to being skunked. I did a little research on skunks to help me think it through. Two main themes that stood out. 1) A skunk is really a pacifist. It just wants to be left alone. If it feels threatened, it will give multiple warnings. Only if those warnings go unheeded, it will spray. 2) Something stinks in my life.

In the dream, I was the one "sprayed" by Skunk. It was not because of me, but I suffered the consequences. A spray is a protection. The skunk's desire to live within his own shelter. I could have been sprayed because of a perceived threat by Skunk, but I will suffer whether the threat was intentional or not, real or not, because I did not notice the warnings, or recognize them as warnings. Perhaps my reputation will suffer. Or maybe my confidence. But now, "something stinks" in my life.

But what has changed? It is only other people's perception of me that has changed. It's not my perception of me (unless I take it on). God's perception of me definitely has not changed. In its most basic reality, this skunking is just a tiny bit of misunderstanding. Maybe more from some people than others, but nonetheless, just misunderstanding. And misunderstanding is really nothing personal, nothing malicious.

I realize that in my life (vs. the dream) I have been taking on this "skunking" as persecution. Persecution being an ill-treatment, or an actual "acting out" of a desire to "put down" the person. Persecution?! Get over myself! Just because someone doesn't "get" me, or is misinformed about me, does not keep me from having confidence and faith. Misunderstanding is just that. Someone's understanding misses the mark of reality.

And then, I have been taking this perceived persecution as a righteous reason to be angry. Angry?! Another step in the wrong direction. If I was indeed being persecuted, I should be counting it a blessing to be worthy of it. You see, I believe that those who stand firm in their faith, and truly desire to live a Godly life, will suffer persecution. So, as I said, if it really is persecution, I should be taking it as affirmation of my faith, not be angry at those doing the persecuting.

I've been skunked. 

Not the first time. Probably not the last. 

I have decided to respond with "Oh well!"

Urgency in Slow Motion

Does your life ever feel like it is a long drawn-out slow motion event of catching someone’s eye across a crowded room, connecting at some cosmic level of knowing and urgency, trying desperately to reach them in an act to save the world (or perhaps yourself), but only being able to see them from your peripheral vision from then on?

Hm. Mine does. Sometimes.
Is that weird?

Silver Lining Affirmation

Yesterday I sent an email to my inner circle of supporters privately declaring my official launch of the Silver Lining Project. It's been a long time coming - years - and not without a lot of inner obstacles and outer doubts. For something that seems so simple and right, there certainly is a lot of angst attached to it. As I should have expected, today brought an attack of proportions equal to the excitement I had just hurled out of my private space into the "real world".

Driving this afternoon, my iPod cranked more than usual in the car, I was asking (actually, whining to) God why there always has to be a struggle walking along side every blessing. I was hoping for a little tedium for a while, but wasn't finding it. God replied immediately, shouting through my iPod, in the lyrics:

Don't you give up now 

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining

Whoa! One of my favorite songs was playing and, not surprising, I had not really heard this stanza before.  This time it was crystal clear, and loud. My cynical, and faithless, response to God, as I looked up and saw a sky completely full of clouds? "OK, so prove it and lets see the sun shine through!" Before the song was half done, this is what I saw:
(click to see larger)



Point taken.
I apologized for the cynicism.
Thanked Him for the encouragement.
Promised I wouldn't give up. 
Not like I really would have.
Don't think I can.

 

(Yes, I stopped the car to take the photo)

The song on You Tube with Lyrics
"What Faith Can Do" by Kutless:


Silver Lining Project:
"There is deep healing that occurs when the grip of secrecy and shame is shattered by the telling of one’s story. And there is equally deep hope, comfort, and encouragement for those who get to hear those stories and realize they are not alone. I am passionate about encouraging women to share their stories."

August at the Cabin

Almost There

(Click on photos for larger view)

Greeted by a Fungi

Looking Up on the Path

Lake View

On the way to the dock

An Important Part of the Cabin Experience

Last Hooray Before Home

No Earthly Good

Perhaps I am “so heavenly minded that I am no earthly good.” 

I desperately want heaven to open and pour down on me. I desperately want myself and those around me to desperately want something more from life. Knowing that that desperation will never be satisfied this side of heaven, I want heaven to come to earth and increase that desperation in all of us for more of heaven. 

I have no. desire. what. so. ever. to do chores. 

Perhaps that is why I sometimes feel I am "no earthly good."

Primitive Camping...in Style

Primitive because this is considered a primitive camp site at Crow Wing State Park in Minnesota. That means no electrical hookups or plumbing. Who needs electricity when camping? We were camping in good style. Our plumbing felt luxurious with the working well right on site, and our own private out-house! Food was served in the stylish, fully screened, shelter which houses 3 picnic tables.
Despite hot afternoon temps, perfect tent weather prevailed overnight. No desire to sleep indoors. And, we were able to drive right up to the camp site! No wagons or carts.
  Click on the photos for a close-up look.