How Long?

How many times have you cried out "How long?"
How long do I have to endure this?
How long do I have to be patient?
How long before the pain subsides?
How long will I have to walk this valley of the shadow of death?

I had a revelation yesterday. The answer to "How long?" is "At least until you believe it is forever." Maybe that answer is specific to me at this moment in my life, but I believe it has some universal truth also.

How many times have you believed your pain or struggle would last forever? For me, it has been often. But not consistently. That is, there have been many times when I thought I would never get out of a pit, but it obviously hasn't lasted my whole life-time. The interesting thing is that in order for it to happen often, wouldn't I have had to leave that pit at some point, in order to return to it? So, it is never forever even if I feel as though it will be.

This past week, I was there again. I was in a place of hopelessness. A place I was starting to believe I would never get out of, even though I had only been there a couple weeks. When suddenly it dawned on me that every time in the past that I felt I would be suffering forever, I had eventually found reprieve. That's when it hit me. If I believe healing can never happen, then when it does it truly is miraculous.

If, while I am in the pit, I believe I can work my way out, or read my way out, or laugh my way out, or medicate my way out, or fight my way out, or even pray my way out, then I am believing that I am, at least partially, in control of the outcome. However, if I accept that I have no control whatsoever...that this pain will last forever and there is no more I can do, then when I do find freedom, there is no doubt that it is the hand of God.

I read somewhere recently (and I wish I could remember where) something to the effect that "learning is in the heart, but knowing is in the soul." Only God can reach that place of our own knowing.

Time

Do you recognize the information bombardment that you receive on a daily basis? Internet, TV, radio, movies, news, advertising, texting, email and phone calls. Are you aware of worldly time structures? Punching the clock, being on time to meetings and church and school and social events, filling your calendar with appropriate activities, creating and checking off items on your to-do list. These are all man's invented conventions.

Life is not measured by time. Protect yourself from these worldly structures. It's OK to use technology and structures, but don't let them restrict or limit your route, your destination, or become the experience of the journey.

Moments are not blocks of time. Moments are experiences. 

Life is the moments, the experiences, the people, relationships, stories. The self discipline that you long for is not a structure or forcing yourself into an accomplishment. Self-discipline is BE-ing in the moment, fully BE-ing in the experience.

Do not let worldly conventions swallow you up and dominate you. Step outside of all those structures and technology and see them for what they are...tools. Then, trust God to create the moments, stories, and experiences for you to BE in.

Embrace the moments.

Dali's "Persistence of Time"

Letter from Jesus

As a followup to the previous post, here is a letter from Jesus, as read on KTIS, with His opinion on the celebration of His birthday:
Christmas letter from Jesus

When is Enough Enough?

The following was tweeted by @dosomething DoSomething.org:

"Saw a lot of middle schoolers with iPhones over the weekend. How young is too young to get a cell phone?"

My mind started wandering...
...A cell phone in middle school seems OK, but probably not a smart phone.
Then...Why is a cell phone in middle school OK? A few years previously, we were wondering if our high school students should have cell phones. And that whole texting thing? That's just anti-social. ;)

Then...When I was in high school, I thought it would be the coolest thing ever to have my own red trimline phone in my bedroom. You know, so I wouldn't have to stretch the pigtail cord of the family's one phone from the wall mount in the kitchen down the hall to my bedroom to have a few minutes of privacy. Push-button wasn't even on the radar yet...I knew nothing but rotary dial. My parents certainly didn't think we should have our own phone. They were still happy we had a private line instead of the party line we had when I was very young. Of course, everyone deserved a private line...but one phone per household was plenty. Teenagers shouldn't spend so much time talking on the phone anyway.

Then...how about music? I never did get my trimline (and I survived), but I do remember getting my first radio in middle school. I loved this thing! "It's an S... It's an O... It's a crazy radio!" Then in high school, my parents surprised me with a used stereo/turn-table/tape-deck with separate speakers (huge ones, of course). I was the envy of my friends.

Then...thinking about stereos...I remembered visiting my grandparents when I was about thirteen. I was trying to figure out the console phonograph. "How do you change stations on this?" I asked. The reply was "Oh! I suppose you listen to those FM stations." Apparently they hadn't discovered the need  for FM yet and were happy listening to AM. FM in their mind was apparently for the young and on-the-edge crowd. I wonder if my grandparents thought I was too young for FM?
Then...Compare that to these portable tiny iPod thingies that they take everywhere and can plug them directly into their ears and never be without music, distraction, creativity, inspiration! It truly is unnatural. There's just no need for that.

Then...VCR's! Certainly no need for movies in the home! They are just another luxury. Of course we deserved multiple TV's by then, but not VCR's.

Then...When did we start deserving even one TV? Growing up, our neighbors didn't have a TV. It wasn't that weird...we felt privileged instead of thinking of them as lacking. Their whole family would come over annually to watch The Wizard of Oz, and again for the Miss America Pageant. (I just realized the strangeness of those two choices). It was a party!

"Too young for what?"
"Need is a funny word"

Evil is not inherent in any thing, but in the intention of the person using it.

If We Had Known

If we had known....
Would we have had the strength not to...?

What's your pit?

...partial lyrics from "Impression That I Get" by Mighty Mighty Bosstones

"I'm not a coward,
I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,
I would pass
Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go
I might be a coward,
I'm afraid of what I might find out
I've never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get"

Have you reached your rock bottom?
Are you one of those that never has and doesn't think they ever will?
"Why go there?"  you ask.
Are you content with not being uncomfortable?
Are you willing to take a step out and be more than content?
Would you like to be overwhelmed...with joy and passion for life?

"All it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."

What's your discontent? 

 Find it or it will find you.

Life in the Undergrowth

I am currently living in the undergrowth. Lots of life. Lots of death. Lots of regeneration. Lots of decay. Life is thick with all of these. So thick, I sometimes loose track of the fact that there is fresh air slightly above. And that there is a vast expanse of freedom just above the canopy.