Urgency in Slow Motion

Does your life ever feel like it is a long drawn-out slow motion event of catching someone’s eye across a crowded room, connecting at some cosmic level of knowing and urgency, trying desperately to reach them in an act to save the world (or perhaps yourself), but only being able to see them from your peripheral vision from then on?

Hm. Mine does. Sometimes.
Is that weird?

Silver Lining Affirmation

Yesterday I sent an email to my inner circle of supporters privately declaring my official launch of the Silver Lining Project. It's been a long time coming - years - and not without a lot of inner obstacles and outer doubts. For something that seems so simple and right, there certainly is a lot of angst attached to it. As I should have expected, today brought an attack of proportions equal to the excitement I had just hurled out of my private space into the "real world".

Driving this afternoon, my iPod cranked more than usual in the car, I was asking (actually, whining to) God why there always has to be a struggle walking along side every blessing. I was hoping for a little tedium for a while, but wasn't finding it. God replied immediately, shouting through my iPod, in the lyrics:

Don't you give up now 

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining

Whoa! One of my favorite songs was playing and, not surprising, I had not really heard this stanza before.  This time it was crystal clear, and loud. My cynical, and faithless, response to God, as I looked up and saw a sky completely full of clouds? "OK, so prove it and lets see the sun shine through!" Before the song was half done, this is what I saw:
(click to see larger)



Point taken.
I apologized for the cynicism.
Thanked Him for the encouragement.
Promised I wouldn't give up. 
Not like I really would have.
Don't think I can.

 

(Yes, I stopped the car to take the photo)

The song on You Tube with Lyrics
"What Faith Can Do" by Kutless:


Silver Lining Project:
"There is deep healing that occurs when the grip of secrecy and shame is shattered by the telling of one’s story. And there is equally deep hope, comfort, and encouragement for those who get to hear those stories and realize they are not alone. I am passionate about encouraging women to share their stories."

August at the Cabin

Almost There

(Click on photos for larger view)

Greeted by a Fungi

Looking Up on the Path

Lake View

On the way to the dock

An Important Part of the Cabin Experience

Last Hooray Before Home

No Earthly Good

Perhaps I am “so heavenly minded that I am no earthly good.” 

I desperately want heaven to open and pour down on me. I desperately want myself and those around me to desperately want something more from life. Knowing that that desperation will never be satisfied this side of heaven, I want heaven to come to earth and increase that desperation in all of us for more of heaven. 

I have no. desire. what. so. ever. to do chores. 

Perhaps that is why I sometimes feel I am "no earthly good."

Primitive Camping...in Style

Primitive because this is considered a primitive camp site at Crow Wing State Park in Minnesota. That means no electrical hookups or plumbing. Who needs electricity when camping? We were camping in good style. Our plumbing felt luxurious with the working well right on site, and our own private out-house! Food was served in the stylish, fully screened, shelter which houses 3 picnic tables.
Despite hot afternoon temps, perfect tent weather prevailed overnight. No desire to sleep indoors. And, we were able to drive right up to the camp site! No wagons or carts.
  Click on the photos for a close-up look.

If We Had Known

by Kelly Wegscheid

If grandma had known how lies transform into shadows, dark and dense…

If grandma had known that secrets are seeds that grow like sequoias - immense…

If grandma had known that a tiny piece of every sin would cling to those she loved…

Would she have had the strength to stand in light and ask for mercy from above?

If grandpa had known his daughter’s heart was fragile and afraid…

If grandpa had known his words could cure the aches of night and day…

If grandpa had known that grace and love really did pour through his eyes…

Would he have spoke more frequently of love and strength before he died?

If I had known my actions then would bring me to my knees,

And make me cry out every night to stop the pain, Lord, please…

If I had known the things God knows back when my life was spinning…

Would I have stood and had the strength to keep those lives from ending?

Will my children know the pain incurred from those who nurse the lies?

Will my grand-kids feel the secrets old that grip so many lives?

For them to know, when day is done, that light can heal all shame,

Someone has to be the one that shares the power of Your Name.

Tailspin Anyone?

I know that I have told God that I don't like roller coasters! The emotional ones, that is. I didn't think I would have had to specifically include "tail spins" in the list of things I do not like. I assume He knows. Whether I told Him or not. He is God, right? The all-knowing? So, apparently He doesn't care that I don't like roller coasters or tailspins. Or maybe it's precisely because I don't like them that He keeps putting me in them. He either thinks it's funny or He's using that stupid Face Your Fear To Get Over It philosophy. But I don't fear roller coasters or tailspins. I just strongly dislike them. So, I believe He just thinks it's funny.

Here I am, on my nice little life adventure in my little private plane. God is the pilot, of course. We are cruising along at a good altitude, enjoying the view and maybe listening to some good soulful music. Suddenly the plane takes a nose dive, then goes into a tail spin! He waits for me to crap my pants before he pulls the plane out of it, and through tears of gut-wrenching laughter, God (my God, the almighty God) says "Wow I really scared you! That was great! Ahhhwww...I'm sorry. But that really was hilarious!"

It makes me want to punch Him.

You know, I used to strongly dislike physical roller coasters too. The real, tangible, amusement park ones. I didn't hate them. I just didn't think there was any particularly good reason for throwing one's body around and letting it entertain the very real possibility that it could be flung unnaturally through the air and crash, just as unnaturally, to the ground. It seemed, well, unnatural.

That changed the day I decided to ride a ridiculously overpriced, extravagant, but still seemingly pointless roller coaster in Las Vegas, simply to pass the time away while waiting for a flight out of town. While buckling into the ride, I couldn't believe I had actually given someone hard earned money for just a few minutes of such an unnatural experience. However, those same few minutes later, my face filled with teethy grin, I hysterically screamed with a hoarse voice "Let's do it again!!"

No one could have convinced me beforehand how exhilarating and life-affirming that experience would be (...for me anyway...the teary first words of the friend we had forced to go with us were "I HATE YOU BOTH!"). Yes, I screamed. Yes, I roared. I screamed and roared with both terror and with thrill. There was not one cell in my body that was thinking.

Maybe the reason I previously did not like roller coasters is because they were too mild. They left room to think about and analyze the experience. Whereas the life altering experience in Las Vegas was pure reaction and emotion. The only intellectual part about it was the decision to pay the price and get on the ride.

Maybe that's what God wants for me on these emotional rides. He may want me to make the decision that I'm all in. And then experience His ultimate Extreme Emotional Thrill Ride. Won't it be fun when I can come out of an emotional tailspin saying "That was great!" instead of wanting to punch God?